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Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power
by Carolyn Elliott


This book presents a unique and practical approach to personal transformation called Existential Kink (EK). It challenges the traditional "love and light" self-help paradigm by focusing on the power of the unconscious shadow and integrating it with your conscious self.

Key Concepts:

  • The Shadow: Our unconscious desires, often taboo or socially unacceptable, manifest in negative patterns. EK helps us acknowledge and embrace these "shadow" desires.
  • Existential Kink: This is the unconscious pleasure we derive from the negative patterns in our lives. EK encourages us to consciously recognize and enjoy this hidden pleasure.
  • The Unconscious: A powerful force that shapes our experiences through dreams and synchronicities. By making the unconscious conscious, we regain agency over our lives.
  • The Great Work: The process of becoming whole and integrated, merging the conscious and unconscious minds.
  • The Seven Axioms: These provide a framework for understanding EK:
    1. Having is evidence of wanting.
    2. We can choose to experience sensation as pleasure or pain.
    3. We can get off on every "stroke" (every event in life).
    4. Our degree of turn-on or turn-off is based on approval.
    5. Desire evolves through fulfillment, not repression.
    6. Shame is the magic killer.
    7. Truth is sensational.
  • The Basic EK Meditation: A step-by-step guide to consciously embracing your shadow desires.
  • Projection: We project our inner beliefs and desires onto the world, creating our reality.
  • Eros & Psyche: This ancient myth symbolizes our journey to reunite with our divine essence through embracing our shadow.

Benefits of Existential Kink:

  • Dissolving Negative Patterns: By acknowledging and celebrating our shadow desires, we interrupt their power to control us.
  • Increased Agency: We gain greater control over our lives and become empowered to create positive change.
  • Enhanced Magic: EK aligns our conscious will with our unconscious desires, making us more effective in manifesting our intentions.
  • Self-Acceptance: We embrace all aspects of ourselves, including the "ugly" and "unacceptable."
  • Greater Fulfillment: By owning our shadow, we remove blocks to receiving love, wealth, joy, and other desires.

The book includes:

  • Personal stories and anecdotes from Carolyn and her clients illustrating the transformative power of EK.
  • Thirteen individual exercises to help readers apply EK principles to various aspects of their lives.
  • Practical guidance on handling depression and trauma.
  • Information on related practices like Deepest Fear Inventory, The Work of Byron Katie, and Tonglen meditation.

Existential Kink is a bold and unconventional approach to self-discovery and personal growth. It offers readers a powerful tool for unmasking their shadow selves and unleashing their true potential for creating a life of freedom and fulfillment.