The Sense of Self

The investigation of self-construction in meditation extends beyond thoughts and definitions about the self and into other aspects of self-experience. Understanding these aspects is crucial for gaining insight into emptiness. The self-sense exists along a continuum, with anger representing a gross end—characterized by solidity and contraction—and deep samādhi representing a refined end—with a subtle sense of self. A key aspect of meditative practice is to recognize this spectrum, become familiar with the various manifestations of self-sense, and develop sensitivity to subtle differences. This illumination of the self-sense spectrum lays the groundwork for a deeper comprehension of voidness.

Meditators typically experience a broader range of this spectrum than non-meditators due to their practice. This is beneficial not just for the pleasant experience it can provide but also for the opportunity it creates to insight into the nature of self and the mechanism of its constant construction and shift along the continuum.

There is Always Some Kind of Self-Sense

It is essential to realize that a sense of self is always present in any experience, although it can be extremely subtle. Recognizing this helps to dispel misconceptions about self-sense. For example, some with harsh self-criticism may believe they lack a self, while in reality, they are experiencing a highly constructed state of self filled with negative self-views. Rather than developing a sense of self, these individuals should aim to understand the emptiness of these views and adjust them toward a more balanced perspective.

Comprehending States of Less Self-Construction

Tsongkhapa, a renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher, distinguished between not engaging with self and engaging with selflessness, pointing out that mere absence of self-sense does not weaken the inherent existence view at the core of ignorance. What is crucial is contemplation and understanding of how self-sense and phenomena are fabricated. If the movement in and out of states of consciousness comes with insightful investigation, it enriches understanding of emptiness. Therefore, even refined states of lesser self can be enlightening if explored correctly.

Practice: Noticing the Sense of Self

Practitioners should become aware of their sense of self during formal meditation and daily activities, noting how it changes and moves along its spectrum. This includes observing feelings of contraction, solidarity, and separation in difficult moments, and contrasting them with periods of ease or strong mettā or samādhi. This constant attention to the self-sense is a pivotal practice for developing insight into fabrications and dependent arising.

The Conception of Self

Additionally to the sense of self, it's helpful to investigate habitual ways of conceiving the self's relation to the body and mind. The Buddha’s teachings on the five aggregates (body, sensation, perception, mental formations, and consciousness) offer a useful framework for this examination. These aggregates encompass all possible phenomena that could be identified with the self or owned by it.

The Buddha identified four common but erroneous ways in which people conceive of the self in relation to the aggregates. He taught that abandoning such conceptions is necessary for liberation, as clinging to any theory of self will lead to limitations. It is vital to become aware of intuitive and intellectual self-conceptions and consider if they are truly accurate or beneficial.

The Buddha's list includes a range of self-conceptions, from the idea that the self is an innate controller of the aggregates to more philosophical notions that the self is a process or the result of interconnected conditions. Even though some of these conceptions can serve as helpful stepping-stones toward liberation, they ultimately involve clinging to the inherent existence of the self, thus perpetuating delusion and suffering.

In conclusion, the chapter emphasizes the importance of recognizing and investigating the ever-present sensation of self, in all its degrees of refinement and grossness, and the various conceptions of self in relation to our experience. This understanding is vital for cultivating insight into emptiness and moving towards true liberation from dukkha.