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Unbound: A Woman’s Guide To Power
by Kasia Urbaniak


  • Power is influence, not control. It requires playing skillfully with power dynamics of dominance and submission by controlling the direction of attention in interactions.

  • Good Girl conditioning leads women to be incongruent - unable to fully occupy either a dominant or submissive state. This makes it difficult for women to communicate and exert influence.

  • Women's default state of attention is turned inward. Men are rewarded for attention turned outward. Women need training to learn to keep their attention out.

  • Self-celebration and legitimacy about desires are essential for women accessing power. Desires show what makes you feel most alive.

  • Use emotional alchemy to transform suppressed emotions like rage into clarity and power. Locate, approve, and influence others' resistance.

  • Asking is revolutionary - it creates roles and collaborations. The right Ask is big enough to deeply excite and light you up.

  • Handle "no" and resistance with curiosity. Keep your attention out to uncover the desire behind their resistance.

  • Calibrate - choose the intensity of your communication - by keeping your attention out. Be playfully outrageous rather than nice.

  • Power is birthing a new world through influential conversations that move toward what's most alive and nourishing for all. Let your deepest desires lead the way.

The book provides specific exercises to break out of Good Girl conditioning and access an authentic, influential way of communicating that transforms relationships and reality. The path is following the life force with skill, imagination and love.