Why half of us are choosing AI over human connection

Hi there,

Saturday was Valentine's Day. You probably saw the flowers, the full restaurants, and the Instagram posts. But here's something else that happened last week: millions of people had deep, vulnerable conversations with ChatGPT instead of their friends and partners.

Recent reports show nearly 1 in 5 American adults have chatted with an AI designed to simulate a romantic partner. Among teenagers, nearly 1 in 5 high schoolers say they have had a romantic relationship with an AI chatbot. In Ireland, almost 10% of adults have done the same in the past year alone.

And you can kind of understand why… AI doesn't get defensive. It's available at 3am. And it won't tell you you're being too much.

Human connection is hard. Real connection takes vulnerability, patience, and the willingness to fuck up and try again. But when you get it right, it's the most transformative thing life offers. The problem isn't that relationships take work - it's that nobody ever taught us what the work actually is. Most of us never learned how to stay present during conflict, repair after hurt, or ask for what we need without abandoning ourselves.

This month we're running three courses/events on doing relationships differently. Skills for Active Love (starting March 4th) is a 5-session online course teaching the practical skills most therapy skips: how to regulate yourself when triggered, communicate without defending, and build the relationship you actually want instead of the one you keep defaulting to. Our self-love workshop explores the most important relationship you'll ever have: the one with yourself. And our men's circle is creating space to talk about learning to fail - because growth only happens when we're willing to get it wrong. And Sex Club's weekend retreat (March 28-29) invites you into deeper inquiry around presence, shame, fantasy, and pleasure.

The world is changing fast. So let's build the skills to show up for each other - messy, imperfect, and fully human 💞

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