Wheel Of Consent Workshop

Have you ever found it hard to say no? 

If you have, you are not alone. When we can't say no, we can end up doing things we aren't willing to do and this can lead to self-blame or resenting the person who asked.

Over the workshop we discover all the reasons why it can be hard to say no. We learn to discern between what we are and are not willing to do and explore a process & vocabulary for setting healthy boundaries which support our relationships.

Are you ever unsure about what you want?

Knowing what we want can feel tricky, especially when other people are involved. Sometimes it feels easier (and less risky) to focus on what others want instead. Over time we can learn to diminish our needs and prioritise those of others.

In this workshop, we explore embodied practices which wake up our ability to notice and trust ourselves, so we become clearer about our own needs, wants and desires.

Have you ever accepted a gift you didn't want then pretended to like it?

This is a common experience as we often don't want to disappoint the 'giver'. In relationships, we can 'give' actions we think the other wants and they might pretend to like it. Sometimes this goes on for years, with no one getting what they really want or need. This can be frustrating and lead to resentment.

In this workshop we learn to differentiate between what we want and who the action is for so we can communicate clearly and experience authentic, satisfying relationships.

The Wheel of Consent is a practice that de-mystifies the confusing and unhealthy ways we relate with each other and offers a clear map to help us get in touch with our needs, wants and desires, overcome our people-pleasing tendencies, build healthy boundaries, develop our self-trust and integrity and have more enriching and fulfilling relationships. It was created by Dr Betty Martin and is considered to be at the cutting edge of the world of consent.

Consent is also about orienting ourselves towards our desires and longings.

It's about developing our inner autonomy.

It's about making agreements that feel really good.

It's about unlocking deeper levels of intimacy, pleasure, connection and soul-nourishing goodness.

The Wheel is really about uncovering inner autonomy. It’s about supporting us to orient ourselves in the world in a way that is meaningful. It’s about unlocking nourishing intimacy with ourselves and others. It’s about the healing power of pleasure. It’s about overcoming our society-wide default mode of going along with things. More than being about touch and consent, it is about learning to choose for ourselves.

This workshop is for anyone who experiences the following:

• People pleasing
• Burnout from always putting others first
• Finding it hard to say no
• Not knowing what you want
• Finding it hard to ask for what you want
• Confusion over relationship dynamics
• Feelings of being shut down or inability to experience pleasure
• Wanting more ease, confidence and sensuality in relationships

Most people join as individuals, you are welcome to come with a partner too.

Over this 2 day fully-clothed workshop we will:

• Learn what ‘Receiving’ and ‘Giving’ really are – and why knowing the difference is crucial for creating authentic connection and intimacy
• Find out where we are clear (or not) in Receiving and Giving
• Learn the framework of the Wheel of Consent® and the four Quadrants as a foundation for connection
• Experience pleasure and sensation in your skin that you can access any time you choose
• Access parts of yourself that have been hidden away that are ready to be seen, appreciated and healed
• Gain skills to bring awareness to your hands so that all your touch is rich and satisfying
• Become exquisitely aware of your desires and limits and how to communicate them
• Practice Receiving, Giving and experiencing each of the four Quadrants

Understanding and embodying the Wheel of Consent happens best through a somatic experience – you have to feel it in your skin. Therefore, learning the Wheel happens through touch exercises. While there are opportunities for exchanging touch as part of the learning in this fully clothed workshop, this is 100% optional, and it is not necessary to touch or be touched to learn from it. 

About your facilitator

Adam Taffler is a human connection coach whose life has been transformed through the Wheel of Consent practice. He has been studying and teaching it for 6 years, training in depth with Betty Martin and is one of a handful of certified facilitators of the Wheel in Europe. He is a passionate advocate for the healthy and nourishing relating that comes from respecting our boundaries and desires.

In 2017 he founded the Togetherness movement which has touched more than 20,000 people from across the world with a shared vision to serve, educate and personally develop and evolve through unique initiatives and workshops. He is known for creating ‘Shhh Dating’, the world’s first speed dating experience based on non-verbal connection games; the House of Togetherness pop-up venue in central London and hosting the largest ever mass-spooning circle with 1,447 spooners at Wilderness Festival. 

Adam regularly delivers creative and culture-changing workshops to businesses and organisations. He is a trained counsellor, certified wheel of consent and Circling facilitator and a massive advocate for playfulness and creativity. More on Adam at AdamWilder.com

This is what the Wheel looks like:

Previous participants:

★★★★★

“Much to my surprise, it felt OK to slow down and negotiate what I really wanted. The exercises with the other participants and the space to be vulnerable helped make this a very impactful weekend for me.”

Sanjeev - Designer

★★★★★ 

“I can do this, negotiate a life which includes nourishing, nurturing relationships & decommissioning and transforming relationships that don’t nourish / support me.”

A.S.

★★★★★ 

“I 100% recommend this workshop to others, it has revolutionised my world.

One of my major discoveries is how boundaries and desires relate to my life more broadly. At work, I’ve started noticing when I 'tolerate' things rather than expressing my true wants/needs.”

Lisa W. - Educator

★★★★★

“Discovering that the space exists for taking a moment to check in and negotiate and that it is mine to claim, and there is nothing wrong with doing that has been very powerful for me. Learning through experience with the others was incredibly valuable.”

G. Whitman - Mother

★★★★★

“The processes are extremely rich and it was amazing to witness the very noticeable improvements I experienced. I am a serial people pleaser and now have the tools to avoid situations which are not pleasing to me. The course was very professional, well-paced and approachable. “ 

R. Parker - Corporate Coach

★★★★★

“Before the workshop, I tended to not try to get my needs met for fear of embarrassment. The course gave me the opportunity to experiment with asking and receiving no’s as well as yes’s. I realise that I spend most of my time serving others and that I’m ready to receive now”.

K. Self - Design Thinking Leader

★★★★★

“My big aha moment is that negotiating the gift I’m willing to give wholeheartedly is better than giving a half-hearted gift and that receiving something I want is difficult but very rewarding”

Tatiana - UX

★★★★★

“The authentic connection in the group and clear boundaries as well as the openness of others that helped me to explore the shadows of the Wheel that are not useful in my life. I realised that my main issue is over-allowing rather than over giving in a belief that doing nothing to assert my needs is ‘safer’.”

Charlotte P. - Therapist

★★★★★

“The course showed me that I really can notice what I want when I slow right down and notice what’s in my body and trust it. It helped me to feel what my true yes and no felt like and a practice to find them. It’s helped bring boundaries into my body.”

H.S. - Coach

★★★★★

“The biggest thing for me has been the reflections around simply asking for what I want. I can ask and trust that the other person has the ability to say yes or no and I don’t have have to worry whether that’s a true yes or no, because I experience what a true yes feels like.”

A.G.

★★★★★ 

“This has opened my eyes and made me realise I'm much more comfortable serving others than asking for what I want.

It made me connect more deeply with myself, and understand how fundamental communicating what I want can be.

It gave me a clear framework to think about how I interact in my relationships, and what I'm willing to do.”

Gavin B. Leadership Consultant

★★★★★ 

“Since the workshop, my relationship with touch has changed. I'm feeling more tactile in my friendships and noticing the desire for intimacy in my life again.

I discovered that when I slow down and choose what I want, I can really enjoy touch, it doesn't have to be a frightening burden.

I'm also feeling more connected to what I want with others.”

Rebecca Banks, Law Student

★★★★★ 

“This is a game-changer, to realise I am responsible for my own pleasure. This cleans up my self-responsibility and the responsibility others have for themselves.“

Ayla Maria, Music Producer

★★★★★ 

“It feels like the light has been switched on in a dark room.

I suddenly feel I have the tools to be myself within relationships, and can enrich them by being more authentic.”

Annabelle C

★★★★★ 

“This workshop taught me how to experience integrity with myself and how to show up more respectfully in all my relationships, both personal and professional.

Highly recommended for anyone who wants to grow in their ability to love themselves and others.”

Becky M, Author, Entrepreneur

★★★★★ 

“It was both mind-blowing and moving to see how good I had become at suppressing my own wants and desires - even the simplest everyday ones.

Simply asking for what I want through open, clear and respectful communication is utterly transformative.”

Alex B, Lawyer