A Ritual for Grief (nr. Ponteland, Newcastle)

WHAT IS A GRIEF RITUAL?

Grief is a natural part of life, but too often we carry it alone. This Grief Ritual offers a sacred, communal space to honour loss, release sorrow, and reconnect with joy. We gather as a community to witness and support one another on this one-day journey.

“People need to grieve but have no culture in which to really do it” Martín Prechtel

We wrangle big griefs, everyday griefs, climate griefs, ancestral/generational griefs, and sometimes-life-is-just-hard grief. Grief can sit on top of everything, often squashing our feelings or making us numb, even angry. 

A RITUAL FOR GRIEF. A SHARED AND COMMUNAL PLACE TO WEEP.

We offer a day of intense healing for broken hearts and bruised spirits. A day spent in the company of others, where you can grieve as part of a community, committing to support one another. Here we start to build an understanding of the nature of grief and enable the sharing of experiences, before creating a physical space for grief to flow. It is amazing how quickly this ritual space comes together; some ancient and wise part of us knows just what to do.

Once the ritual starts, everyone is invited, through song and dance, tears and their own  personal forms of expression, to offer up whatever is weighing them down. This activity has a natural flow and we find our body knows how to grieve. When done communally this process is not so overwhelming.

This ritual was originally brought to the UK by Dr Malidoma Somé of the Dagara tribe in Burkina Faso.

‘Communal grieving offers something we cannot get when we grieve by ourselves. Through validation, acknowledgement, and witnessing, communal grieving allows us to experience a level of healing that is deeply and profoundly freeing. (Dagara teacher, Sobonfu Somé)

Grief is a natural response to loss. The more we love someone or something, the deeper we feel the loss. But don’t weep alone. Be supported in ritual.

Grief takes us to the top of the hill and then lets us walk back down slowly, peacefully. It helps relieve the person who is in sorrow and leads them towards acceptance of the phenomenon of death, separation and love.’ (Malidoma Somé, Dagara Elder).

Note: A small proportion of all sales go back to Burkina Faso to assist with well building and children's education in gratitude for this teaching.

OUR RITUAL FACILITATORS:

Kathryn Edwards had a life-changing encounter with Dr Malidoma Somé when she learned – experientially – how ritual creates and sustains community. She studied Dagara wisdom, including the theory and practice of ritual, with Malidoma for two decades in the US and in Europe. Kathryn was frequently invited to visit his village in Burkina Faso, West Africa, and eventually acted as co-tour-manager for Western study groups there.

Kathryn was particularly inspired by the beauty and healing effects of Dagara funerals. Her spontaneous childhood practice had been to bury dead birds in a shoebox with pomp and flowers, so becoming a funeral celebrant for f.orghumans was a natural progression. She apprenticed herself to a progressive undertaker, to be better informed about the care of the dead. She went to weep at Malidoma’s own funeral in Burkina Faso in 2022.

Kathryn believes that working with ritual technology will fortify us, as modernity unravels in the face of the climate emergency.  kathrynedwards50@gmail.com

JOHN SCAIFE has studied and practised extensively with the Dagara teachers Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé in the UK, and also with Martin Prechtel in the UK and at his ‘Bolad’s Kitchen’ school in New Mexico, having been introduced to them by poet and ‘men’s movement’ leaders, poet Robert Bly and mythologist Michael Meade, in the 1990s. During this time he also learnt from James Hillman and Robert Moore. He is an experienced ritualist (especially rites of passage for men and women, and in grief work), a cowrie-shell diviner and accomplished storyteller.

John grew up in Northumberland. He regularly returns to run his favourite beach and walk the Cheviots. He now lives in Sussex.  www.recastpath.life

NEED TO KNOW MORE, STILL UNCERTAIN ?

To read  more about grief and grief rituals visit our sister web site www.ritualsforgrief.org

If it would help, you can speak to either of the facilitators. Send an email to make an appointment for a call. Either:   kathrynedwards50@gmail.com or freegull@hotmail.co.uk

LOCATION

We are 20 mins from the Central station, 28 mins from Hexham, 33 mins from Whitley Bay, 45 mins from Alnwick and just 11 mins from the airport.

There is parking on site.

FAQ's

Food?  Self catered. So bring your own favourite for lunch and maybe a snack for the early afternoon. Most of all bring some treats to share.

What to bring? We will send you a letter once you have paid for your ticket that lists everything you need to bring.

Age Group. This is strictly for adults (18 and over) able and willing to take care of, and personal responsibility for, themselves.

Pets? Sorry no dogs, goldfish or other beloveds allowed.

Medication? This event can be strongly stimulating and emotionally demanding. If you need medication to manage your moods, this is probably not for you. Everyone is responsible for their own physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Timing? We start at 9.30am and will be locking up at 9pm having closed the ritual, tidied away and cleaned up. Sometimes we finish a little sooner.

How to prepare? Best of all is just turn up as you are with a genuine curiosity and willingness to join in. There are books and talks by Malidoma you can find online but these are no substitute for doing the ritual.