[Photo credit: The images in this post, including the cover image and  Marta's photo, were taken by Egle Slowlands]

Healthy relationships can be hard. Sure, it may be easy to start a connection. But if we want  meaningful friendships, partnerships, and family relations to last… that's a whole different story. 

It's not easy because we’re constantly negotiating between our need for safety and our need for expansion.

The closer the relationship, the more apparent this becomes. On the one hand, we want to feel safe, loved, and  “just be ourselves.” On the other, we want to try new things, experiment, and push edges… in other words, to grow alongside people closest to us.

We want our relationships to evolve with us. That's how we know they're meaningful.

But for this to be possible, a baseline of safety must come first. Only when we have a solid foundation are we able to take risks. As John Bowlby, a British psychologist and the first attachment theorist noted, “life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base.” 

How to build that secure base in relationships is a question both universal and individual.  As mammals, we're wired to live in groups. As a result, we respond to certain social cues as a species. At the same time, due to our individual life stories, we all have unique pieces in our jigsaw puzzle of safety.

In the Safer Communication workshops, you're invited to explore different aspects of how to create more safety in your day-to-day communication. That's the foundation for growth and learning in relationship with others. 

This month, the theme revolves around assumptions, projections, imaginings, and stories that come up in our relationships. How can you navigate these to communicate safer? 

This workshop is designed for those who:

Everyone needs a target audience these days, right? :) It helps me structure my events when I'm thinking about who this is for.

So, I dedicate this workshop to those who:

• Want deeper and more secure bonds with their closest people
• Are eager to allow more parts of themselves into in their relationships
• Are willing to get uncomfortable in the short-term to feel safer in the long-term
• Believe that communication skills are part of becoming a better human
• Are guided by  compassion, consciousness, and courage
• Believe that building better communities and society is still possible

As much as I'm imagining this for a certain “type” of people, don't be limited by those bullet points! If you don't fit this description perfectly and at the same time, you're curious… then let's prioritise your curiosity!

Important note: My style of running these relational “playshops” isn't to give you the answer for how to be. Instead, they are designed to make space for you to find your own answers. Social life is full of nuance and “it depends…”. My role as a facilitator is to create space in which you discover what works for you - and trust that.

What exactly are we doing?

I often feel uncomfortable going to events where there's no preview of what will happen. It impacts MY sense of safety. 

That's why I want to give you a sneak-peak into what will happen - even though slight tweaks  are still possible before the event.

This month, we'll look into how our minds create all kinds of stories, imaginings, and projections in relationships. If you think your mind doesn't do it, then… come to this event and see. ;-) I'm kidding - you're probably aware that the human mind, including yours, is making assumptions and stories about other people all the time.

However, you can always discover another layer of how that happens. The next step is to see how assumptions and projections impact your sense of safety in connection.

One possible link is that with stories about other people come certain beliefs about yourself. When they come to the surface, they can be strong factors in how safe you feel in any given connection.

In this “playshop,” we'll use Authentic Relating games to:

• Notice what sorts of assumptions you habitually make about other people and about yourself
• Discover skillful ways of voicing and checking those assumptions
• Practice asking for and receiving feedback as a way of getting clarity around how you're being perceived
• Get more familiar with whatever emotions may come up in the process
• Learn how to reveal impact other people have on you in a consensual and sensitive way.

This will happen through a few different activities in pairs, smaller groups, and possibly in the full group. There will also be time for self-reflection and moments of connecting to yourself throughout the night.

Price, accessibility & other practicalities

Here's some practical information  you may need about the event.

• When: 22nd November, 6-9pm. Please arrive 10 minutes early to settle in.
• Where: The Salisbury Centre, 2 Salisbury Road, Edinburgh EH16 5AB. We will be in the Art Room which is wheelchair accessible.
• Who: Marta Brzosko from Connection Hub. You can read a note about Marta below, and check out her website and newsletter for more information.
• Price: £20 per person. Concessions available upon request for those to whom price is a barrier. Please email hello@martabrzosko.com to ask about this.
• Refund policy: Full refund up to 10 days before, and half the price up to 5 days before the event. No refunds when you give me less than 5 days notice. Please email hello@martabrzosko.com to request a refund.

If you'd like more information, please email me your questions - I'll be happy to see your email in my inbox. :)

About Marta Brzosko

I've been facilitating Authentic Relating and connection events in Edinburgh and online since 2020. I've completed the Authentic Facilitator Training from Authentic Revolution, as well as other relational and mindfulness courses, including a post-grad diploma in Mindfulness & Compassion studies.

Day-to-day, I live, work, and volunteer at The Salisbury Centre, one of the oldest community hubs in Edinburgh. I think of it as my spiritual home that's deeply nurtures me, but also a playground for learning about group dynamics and community building.

I'm also a published author with a newsletter called Connection Hub. There, I share stories, tools, and ideas around creating authentic human connection and communities. One day, I want to move out of the city and start (or join) a tribe of people committed to deep communion with Nature and each other.