New Bristol Book Club - April - Square Works

NEW BRISTOL BOOK CLUB

A Book Club designed to increase personal development to support your leadership and work performance.

Greg Baer wrote an unusual series of books for a Medical Doctor. And the titles can be offputting! Don't judge these books by their cover! Some books are named in a way that only makes sense after you've read them Greg's books are like this. He's written 9 books that start with the title Real Love and each has a different subtext: 

1. Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships
2. Real Love in the Workplace: Eight Principles For Consistently Effective Leadership In Business
3. Real Love and Freedom for the Soul: Eliminating the Chains of Victimhood
4. Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever
5. Real Love in Dating: The Truth About Finding The Perfect Partner
6. Real Love in Parenting: Nine Simple and Powerfully Effective Principles for Raising Happy and Responsible Children
7. Real Love for Wise Men and Women: The Truth About Sharing Real Love
8. Real Love Companion: Taking Steps Toward a Loving and Happy Life
9. Real Love and Post-Childhood Stress Disorder: Treating Your Unrecognized Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Personally

I wouldn't have read any of these books because I didn't resonate with the title. I was after ‘the’ book on relationships. I asked all my wise friends and colleagues “what book on relationships do you really recommend?" I looked at every book that was recommended! Most of them I didn't take to, they just didn't do it for me. Until I tried ‘Real Love and Freedom for the Soul: Eliminating the Chains of Victimhood’. This book spoke to me! It explained things in a way that made sense and that resonated. I blasted through the book at pace. It had a big impact on me. It's fair to say it brought a cognitive awakening. 

A bit about the book(s):

In short, Greg explains that we go into most, if not all, relationships (including work ones) looking for them to bring us Imitation Love. We don't realise we are doing this. It's an unconscious drive, a legacy. Although Imitation Love initially feels great it's Real Love aka Unconditional Love that we really need. 

It doesn't matter which book you read, choose any of the 9 that grab you. The principles are the same throughout he gives examples and deeper explanations in relation to the specific book's title.

These books are not only easy to read they are practical. He provides direct advice on how to get more Real (Unconditional) Love. His guidance is part of why I wanted to have this particular book club… we will use his methods to enable everyone that turns up to experience more Unconditional Love.

What Next?

1. Get your ticket (only £5 which covers snacks, it's non-profit)
2. Read the book (any of them)
3. Join us on the 15th April at 6pm
    

Details:

• Book: REAL LOVE by Greg Baer (any of his 9 books)
• Date: 15th April 2024
• Time: 6-8pm
• Address: Square Works. 17-19 Berkeley Square, Bristol, BS8 1HB
• Spaces are limited, book here on Dandelion
• Nibbles, tea and coffee provided.
• Fee: £5 

Hosted by: 

• James O’Halloran (https://www.jamesohalloran.com/ or https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesohalloran/ ) 
• and Saf Nazeer (https://www.linkedin.com/in/safnazeer/ )

Who is James?

James is inspired by living an awakened life, both professionally and personally, and is on a mission to help people who want to disrupt the(ir) status quo.

James' clients include Successful Bristol Founders; Entrepreneurs and Career Changers. People who are up for doing the inner work in addition to the outer work. The work that will help them excel in their professional (and personal) life.
 

Who is Saf?

An Advisor to various startups. Saf’s focus is on supporting founders who are building products that positively impact people and planet.

Previously, Saf co-founded Helpfulpeeps - an award winning "tech for good" app that made it easier for people to connect and help each other in their local community.
 

Rules of Book Club (Inspired by Fight Club):

• Do Talk About Book Club
• Do Talk About Books
• Read the book in preparation for the club (either all of it, or as much as you can. No judgement here!)
• Buy your Book locally or via an online ethical book store, bring your copy on the evening
• Come with an open, supportive and collaborative mind. You may need to suspend your judgement (from your inner critic or about other people)
• Enjoy yourself! :-D
   

Quotes from the book:

• “In order to be happy, what we all need more than anything else is love.”
  — Greg Baer
   
• “Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. Real Love is unconditional.”
  — Greg Baer
   
• “It’s Real Love when I’m stupid and flawed and inconvenient, and when I make mistakes, but you’re not disappointed or angry.”
  — Greg Baer
   
• "Although it was unintentional, our parents and others taught us this terrible message: “When you’re good, I love you, but when you’re not, I don’t—or certainly I love you a great deal less.” In short, the “love” we were given—perhaps 99% of us—was conditional, and to this day we are still “loved” in this way. This conditional love can give us brief moments of satisfaction, but we’re still left with a huge hole in our souls, because only Real Love can make us genuinely happy."
  — Greg Baer
   
• “it is the longstanding lack of Real Love in your life that determines how you feel, not the behavior of any one person in that moment.”
  — Greg Baer
   
• “Conditional love is distinguished from Real Love by the presence of disappointment and anger.”
  — Greg Baer
   
• "It is imperative that we recognize that the instant we are disappointed or irritated at anyone—a spouse, lover, friend, child, co-worker—that other person hears us say only four words: I don’t love you. Disappointment and anger are absolutely incompatible with Real Love, and that is the reason so few of us—probably less than 1-2% of us—feel unconditionally loved with any consistency."
  — Greg Baer
   
• “Everything we use as a substitute for Real Love—to temporarily make us feel better in the absence of what we really need—becomes a form of Imitation Love, and all these substitutes are one or more variations of four things: praise, power, pleasure, and safety.”
  — Greg Baer
   

 Praise for Real Love by Greg Baer:

• “A life-changing book. I have read lots of personal development books but rarely anything as clear, and simply explained that gets right to the heart of things. Lots of examples of relationship crises, and the patterns of behaviour people adopt in pursuit of 'love', make it very easy to identify some very unhelpful behaviours I have brought to my relationship! I first read the book while away three weeks ago. Now my partner and I are enjoying reading it together each evening. It is teaching us so much. Thank you Greg. This book is a treasure. I have already recommended it to others.”
  —R. Ward (Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships)
   
• "I attended a relationship workshop with Greg and saw this book there. I love books on Leadership so I picked up a copy. I read it and then presented a book review to my team of direct reports and gave them each a copy. We talked about the concepts for FOUR full days when I had only envisioned a 2 hour discussion. Since reading the book and sharing it with my team, we have never been so productive, authentic and happy at work. It honestly changed everyone of my managers into leaders.. and not just the status quo definition of leaders.. TRUE leaders!
  
  I have read more than 50+ leadership books during my career and this ONE is the best."
  —NautiGirl68 (Real Love in the Workplace: Eight Principles For Consistently Effective Leadership In Business)
   
• “Dr. Baer explains in a simple, yet profound, way why there is so much fear and game playing in most work environments. A must read for all - whether you are a manager or one of the staff - come to understand why people do what they do and how you can dynamically shift your workplace to be a place of enjoyment and healthy productivity.”
  —James Peak (Real Love in the Workplace: Eight Principles For Consistently Effective Leadership In Business)
   
• “If you struggle with relationships and life you must read this book. It helped me identify the times I am the problem and how I can change my actions or thinking in order to have fuller and more honest relationship and dialog. If applied it helps let go of the things you can't control and helps you stop being a victim of your own wrong thinking.”
  —Joykeepin (Real Love and Freedom for the Soul: Eliminating the Chains of Victimhood)
   
• “I spent 11 years, pushing and criticising my son, getting frustrated and often angry when he made mistakes. I created a child that physically shook and cried whenever he made a mistake, such was his fear of the torent of mental abuse he was about to receive from me. I searched for a cure for his lack of self confidence, and found this book. I now know that my son did not require a cure, but it was me that needed fixing. All he needed was acceptance and unconditional love. We have a long way to go, but after just two weeks, our family life has changed dramatically. Greg is a master of telling it straight, and his no-nonsense writing style is just what I needed to hear. Every parent should get a copy of this book, it is the equivalent of the parenting Bible.”
  —S (Real Love in Parenting: Nine Simple and Powerfully Effective Principles for Raising Happy and Responsible Children)
   
• "You might find this book turns everything you ever thought about dating upside down....it actually turns it the "right way up" !!!
  It shows you VERY clearly and articulately, why all your previous relationships didnt work out, and why the rest of them wont either unless you do something radically different.....The principles of finding a suitable partner are very different to what we have been programmed to believe....This book will tell you what you've been doing wrong, what process you need to go through in order to be ready to date in the first place, and what you need to do to give you the maximum opportunity to "create" a truly loving partnership, where the main theme of it is based on what you can GIVE, not what you can GET from the other. a MUST read"
  — spiritual lover  (Real Love in Dating: The Truth About Finding The Perfect Partner)
   
• “This book & Greg Baer himself are really inspirational. It was just what I needed when I realised my marriage was falling apart. My husband & I were in so much pain. We had argued, emotionally withdrawn from each other & were both very unhappy, but we just didn't know what to do. This book & Greg Baer himself saved us. It is a really practical guide. If you put these things into practice they really do work but it means changing the way you do things for the rest of your life. If you really commit to that you will reap huge rewards. My husband & I communicate so well now & we are so much closer & happier. It's a process, you will make mistakes, we have, but if you keep going it can change your whole life.”
  —Mrs. Cm Postlethwaite (Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever)

We look forward to meeting you – James & Saf