Passionate Love - Online For Couples

The shadow and light of passion 

When we fall in love, we usually feel very passionate towards each other. This is because we see the other as different and opposite from us. Opposing poles create attraction, like magnets. 

Over time, however, these opposites can either create explosive fights and disconnection or even trauma, or we integrate more of the opposite and become increasingly equal. Then you may feel more like being brother and sister than a romantic couple.

In reality, it is less black and white than that. Usually, there is one person who craves passion, physical intimacy and sex more than the other. And there is one person who feels increasingly pushed and scared to set boundaries. 

Do you recognize yourself or your relationship in this?

If you are the one who still feels passionate, still wants the other, still yearns for physical intimacy - and yet, you are rejected - you likely experience increasing frustration and shame. 

If you are the one who feels pushed, or you have overwritten your body and boundaries a few times, you may experience fear, numbness, dissociation, or you have walled off completely and don’t want to be available for sex any longer. 

Other reasons for why the passion has gone could include the birth of a child, children being the main focus point in the relationship, or a lack of time, skills and resources. 

Maybe you don’t feel passionate anymore because you doubt that you are sexually compatible. You don’t like the way you have sex with each other. 

Either way, when the passion in the relationship goes, the deep bond between a couple goes with it. 

Our aliveness suffers. 

Both of you may feel unwanted, and not accepted as you are. 

This workshop has been specifically designed for couples who want to reawaken or enhance passion in their relationship while being in the comfort and safety of their own home. 

What can you expect? 

We will open with a sharing circle, and then go deeper into physical sensations, and nervous system regulation to build a foundation for feeling safe in the context of sexuality. 

We will explore the blocks that are showing up in your specific relationship, to increase awareness and understanding. We will then playfully embody these blocks to gain information about the emotional and physical impact. 

Then we move on to exploring the 5 pillars of sexual energy at play: movement, energy in the body, breath, touch, and sound. This will be experiential practices, where you'll touch yourself and each other. I’ll respect your boundaries if you’d find it too challenging to touch your partner. 

These techniques will help you to work with trauma and to support each other through energetic or physical contractions once they arise. 

In the last hour, we will explore ‘desire’, how to claim it, and how to communicate it with your partner, as well as how to set boundaries and honor each others ‘no’s’. 

We will explore the difference between neediness and wholeness, as well as masculine and feminine polarities so that you learn how to influence each other's turn-on and increase sexual attraction. 

We’ll end with a brief closing circle in which we call in an intention for your ongoing future. 

What do you need to know about my work? 

I put strong emphasis on staying connected to our bodies, and to our emotions during the whole time. This will help you to stay present, receptive and able to release hurt. I work trauma-informed and have a strong interest for this work to be transformational - not triggering. 

However, this is not the space to go into the biggest wounds and the most difficult conversations. 

Please be mindful of other people’s processes as well and respect my limitations as I can’t focus in detail on each of you all at the same time. 

What do you need to consider before joining? 
 

This is for you if you want to invest in your relationship and sex life.

This is for you if you want to become a better lover. 

This is for you if you want to work through blocks around sexuality, and get more honest with yourself and your partner about these. 

This is for you if you feel like you are lacking the skills and techniques to break through blocks. 

How do you need to prepare? 

Please be prepared to be present for the full day, which means that you are not distracted by phone calls, children or mundane tasks. 

Please have some dinner and snacks prepared the day before so that you don’t start cooking or preparing food in the break we have or just after the workshop. 

There will be one tea/toilet break in which I encourage you to stay hydrated and nourished. 

Please arrive well-rested and sober.

This is deep emotional work and can be draining afterward. Try to take it easy in the evening after we have finished.  

 Photo Credit: Joth Shakerly https://www.jothshakerley.com/