A RITUAL FOR GRIEF, nr Eastbourne & Lewes, E. Sussex

A RITUAL FOR GRIEF

Combining ritual, community, and emotional healing.

WHAT’S DIFFERENT ABOUT THIS WEEKEND?

Thanks to the generous loan of a beautiful, ancient Sussex barn, nestled in the forests of the South Downs, we are offering a more spacious opportunity to shed burdens of grief and reconnect with joy! 

This weekend event is an extended version of our established one-day grief ritual.  This  spacious version allows more ‘breathing space’ for existing elements, including the chance to  explore and deepen our ancestral relationships. Working with ancestors is a crucial dimension of the teachings we received from Malidoma Somé, who gave us this ritual. 

We will also explore ways to expand our repertoires of movement and physical expression, discovering how to release deeply-buried feelings of grief that may have become frozen into stuckness.  In working with embodied expression we are joined in this pioneering joint-venture by Adam Barley (see bio below). 

Most of all we will have more opportunity to be with our grief in ritual space, in the village and at the shrines, allowing us to move in and out of the moods and phases of grieving that arise naturally in these encounters.

WHAT IS A GRIEF RITUAL?

Too often we carry our griefs alone.  This Grief Ritual offers a sacred, communal space to honour loss, release sorrow, and reconnect with joy.  We gather as a community to witness and support one another.

Grief is a natural response to loss.  The more we love and value someone or something, the deeper we feel the loss.  Most of us these days have not experienced the power of being supported in ritual, rather than just weeping alone.

“People need to grieve but have no culture in which to really do it.” Martín Prechtel

We struggle with all sorts of griefs, big and small – bereavements, broken relationships, lost dreams and hopes, loss of land and place, climate grief, health crises, and ancestral grief we’re carrying for our forebears, sometimes unbeknownst to us.  Life can be hard in all sorts of ways, and often it is our unaddressed grief that sits on top of everything, making us low, numb, and even angry, or just taking the shine off things.

It’s astonishing how much can change very quickly; all you need is a willingness to step in.  Here's a comment from a participant ………

……I came away feeling that I had just done something that was very healthy, for me as an individual and for the group that took part, and in some way that I don't understand for the wider world, too.  An individual and a social healing at the same time.......

The active expression of grief can soften it and move it along.   This perspective can feel counterintuitive to us if we have been brought up to view the suppression of emotion as ‘being strong’.   Scientific studies are now seeming to show that in shedding tears we excrete stress hormones, release mood-boosting hormones, and even relieve emotional and physical pain, all of which serves to restore us to improved physical and mental health.

It’s likely that all cultures have had functional grief practices – and some still retain them.  One such are the Dagara people of West Africa, whose elders sent the remarkable teacher, Dr Malidoma Somé, to share their indigenous knowledge as a healing gift for us modern folk.

This profound Grief Ritual works not only on the level of psychological and emotional need, but also engages deeply with the world of Spirit – the flow of natural energies of which we are a part.  This gives it profound healing power beyond the mundane.  The effects can flow beyond us as individuals, as we honour our ancestors and help to put old ghosts to rest.  By bringing us into greater harmony and balance, and restoring connection and flow within our ancestral lines, it brings healing to our whole world. 

TICKETS

We offer a sliding scale of ticket prices.

Early Bird discount if you buy a ticket no later than 29th August is £130

Regular Ticket. From 30th August. Please choose your own payment level between  £150 and £195 for the day.

Those who contribute towards the higher end of the scale support our ability to put these Rituals on, and allow people with more limited resources to attend. Thank you.

Ritual drummer fee: Competent djembe drummers who are willing to drum for part of the ritual receive a discount in recognition of this contribution. £100  Limited offer. Contact John to discuss. Djembe drums only please.

Concession: a limited number of tickets for those in circumstances needing a discount or stage payments. Contact John to discuss.

CLICK RIGHT HAND TICKET PANEL TO BOOK. 

PRACTICALITIES

When?

The event will take place across Saturday 19th – Sunday 20th September 2026.  Saturday: 9:30 for 10:00 am till mid-evening, with a simple vegetarian supper; Sunday: 10:00 till mid-afternoon,  a shared light picnic lunch will be on offer at the end.

Where?

The location (details supplied after booking) is on a farm near Friston, approximately 10 mins from Eastbourne and 30 mins from Lewes. 

Accommodation

Unless you live very locally, you will need somewhere to spend the night on the Saturday, and perhaps the Friday, too?  Low-cost options:

• Very rural camping facilities are available (with no charge) at the event site: a peaceful orchard with immaculate loos but no showers.  Please contact us if you are considering camping.

What to bring?

We will send a briefing note after you have booked your ticket for the event.

How the weekend looks

We offer a weekend of intense healing for broken hearts and bruised spirits.  Time spent in the company of others, where you can grieve as part of a community, supporting and being supported.   We begin by considering the nature of grief and sharing experiences, before creating a physical, ritual space for grief to flow.   It is amazing how quickly this ritual space comes together; some ancient and wise part of us knows just what to do.

Once the ritual starts, everyone is invited – through song and dance, tears and personal forms of expression – to offer up whatever is weighing them down.  This activity has a natural flow and we find that – when given the time and space for it –our bodies can support us to grieve.  When done communally, the process of grieving is not so overwhelming.

........I liked that we made the shrines, which made the space ours. The concept of the village and the welcome each participant got on their return was lovely...........Everything about it was presented clearly. There was nothing that I didn’t like about the day…………I was amazed watching strangers physically change into a community through singing, drumming, dancing, doing ritual together. Incredible in such a short space of time..........It was a positive experience and will be long remembered as a highlight of the year..........Had a huge internal shift and increased feeling of supportive connection with some ancestors…..

This ritual draws on the cathartic funeral practices of the Dagara people of Burkina Faso, West Africa.  It was crafted by Dagara teacher, Dr Malidoma Somé, as a direct response to the burdens of grief that he saw were crushing those of us living in modernity.

‘Grief takes us to the top of the hill and then lets us walk back down slowly, peacefully.  It helps relieve the person who is in sorrow and leads them towards acceptance of the phenomenon of death, separation and love.’ (Malidoma Somé, Dagara Elder).

Note: We share a part of our income from our Grief Ritualso contribute to wellbeing projects in Burkina Faso in gratitude for the gift of this medicine.

OUR RITUAL FACILITATORS:

KATHRYN EDWARDS had a life-changing encounter with Dr Malidoma Somé when she learned – experientially – how ritual creates and sustains community. She studied Dagara wisdom, including the theory and practice of ritual, with Malidoma for two decades in the US and in Europe. Kathryn was frequently invited to visit his village in Burkina Faso, West Africa, and eventually acted as co-tour-manager for Western study groups there.

Kathryn was particularly inspired by the beauty and healing effects of Dagara funerals. Her spontaneous childhood practice had been to bury dead birds in a shoebox with pomp and flowers, so becoming a funeral celebrant for humans was a natural progression. She apprenticed herself to a progressive undertaker, to be better informed about the care of the dead. She went to weep at Malidoma’s own funeral in Burkina Faso in 2022.

Kathryn believes that working with ritual technology will fortify us, as modernity unravels in the face of the climate emergency. kathrynedwards50@gmail.com

JOHN SCAIFE has studied and practised extensively with the Dagara teachers Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé in the UK, and also with Martin Prechtel in the UK and at his ‘Bolad’s Kitchen’ school in New Mexico, having been introduced to them by poet and ‘men’s movement’ leaders, poet Robert Bly and mythologist Michael Meade, in the 1990s. During this time he also learnt from James Hillman and Robert Moore. He is an experienced ritualist (especially rites of passage for men and women, and in grief work), a cowrie-shell diviner and accomplished storyteller.

John grew up in Northumberland. He regularly returns to run his favourite beach and walk the Cheviots. He now lives in Sussex. www.recastpath.life

ADAM BARELY is a movement catalyst, author, and the founder of ZeroOne, an evolving mystery school based on embodiment, presence and enquiry. He is a highly experienced, challenging and generous movement teacher, having apprenticed to Gabrielle Roth for over twenty years, and has built a reputation for leading powerfully transformative experiences world-wide. Adam is the author of Pathways Home – A guide to creating your own movement practice as a catalyst for personal and collective evolution. He has recently been through a 2 year journey with cancer, coming very close to death, emerging deepened, humbled and inspired.  www.adambarley.com

NEED TO KNOW MORE, STILL UNCERTAIN  and FAQs

To read more about grief and grief rituals visit our website:   www.ritualsforgrief.org   

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE RITUAL please send an email to  Kathryn (kathrynedwards50@gmail.com) or John  (freegull@hotmail.co.uk)

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE VENUE OR LOGISTICS please send an email to  freegull@hotmail.co.uk (John)

FAQs

Food?

Self catered and communal meals.  Please bring your own favourite food for Saturday lunch.  On Saturday evening we will provide a simple vegetarian supper.  On Sunday we will provide a simple picnic lunch.  Please bring some treats to share!

What to bring?

We will send you a letter that lists everything you need to bring once you have paid for your ticket .

Age Group. 

This is strictly for adults (18 and over) able and willing to take care of and exercise personal responsibility for themselves.

Pets?

Sorry no dogs, goldfish or other beloveds allowed.

Medication?

This event can be strongly stimulating and emotionally demanding. If you need medication to manage your moods, think twice before coming or seek professional advice.  Everyone is responsible for their own physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Timing?

We start at 9.30am on Saturday. We will  pause the ritual sometime Saturday night, we guess 8.30ish. We will offer a  communal supper at this point. On the Sunday will restart at 9.30am and we  expect to be finished and cleared away by about 2pm.

How to prepare?

Best of all is just turn up as you are with a genuine curiosity and willingness to join in. There are books and talks by Malidoma you can find online, but these are no substitute for doing the ritual.