A RITUAL FOR GRIEF, nr Frome

A RITUAL FOR GRIEF

A day of emotional healing offering ritual and community for men and women.

WHAT IS A GRIEF RITUAL?

Short answer:

Grief is a natural part of life, but in the modern world we have lost our way with it. Too often we carry it alone. This Grief Ritual offers a sacred, communal space to honour loss, release sorrow, and reconnect with joy. We gather as a community to witness and support one another on this one-day journey.

Grief is a natural response to loss. The more we love and value someone or something, the deeper we feel the loss. Most of us these days have not experienced the power of being supported in ritual, rather than just weeping alone.

“People need to grieve but have no culture in which to really do it.” Martín Prechtel

We struggle with all sorts of griefs, big and small – bereavements, broken relationships, lost dreams and hopes, loss of land and place, climate grief, ancestral grief we’re carrying for our forebears, sometimes unbeknownst to us. Life can be hard in all sorts of ways, and often it is our unaddressed grief that sits on top of everything, making us low, numb, and even angry, or just taking the shine off things.

It’s astonishing how much can change in a single day; all you need is a willingness to participate. Here's a comment from a participant ………

……I came away feeling that I had just done something that was very healthy, for me as an individual and for the group that took part, and in some way that I don't understand for the wider world too. An individual and a social healing at the same time.......

The active expression of grief can soften it and move it along. This perspective can feel counterintuitive to us if we have been brought up to view the suppression of emotion as ‘being strong’. Scientific studies are now seeming to show that in shedding tears we excrete stress hormones, release mood-boosting hormones, and even relieve emotional and physical pain, all of which serves to restore us to improved physical and mental health.

It’s likely that all cultures have known functional grief practices – and some still retain them. One such are the Dagara people of West Africa, whose elders sent the remarkable teacher, Dr Malidoma Somé, to share their indigenous knowledge as a healing gift for us modern folk.

This profound Grief Ritual works not only on the level of psychological and emotional need, but also engages deeply with the world of Spirit – the flow of natural energies of which we are a part. This gives it profound healing power beyond the mundane. The effects can flow beyond us as individuals, as we honour our ancestors and help to put old ghosts to rest. By bringing us into greater harmony and balance, and restoring connection and flow within our ancestral lines, it brings healing to our whole world.

For more information about logistics or payments please contact Rod  at rpboothroyd@gmail.com

For more information about the ritual please contact John at    freegull@hotmail.co.uk    Kathryn at    kathrynedwards50@gmail.com 

TICKETS

We offer a sliding scale of ticket prices.

Early Bird discount if you buy a ticket no later than 31st August is £95.

Regular Ticket. From 1st September. Please choose your own payment level between  £115 and £195 for the day.

Those who contribute towards the higher end of the scale support our ability to put these Rituals on, and allow women and men with more limited resources to attend. Thank you.

Ritual drummer fee: Competent djembe drummers who are willing to drum for part of the ritual receive a discount in recognition of this contribution. £80  Limited offer. Contact John to discuss. Djembe drums only please.

Concession: a limited number of tickets for those in circumstances needing a discount or stage payments. Contact John to discuss 

CLICK RIGHT HAND TICKET PANEL TO BOOK. 

Some more detailed information

How the day looks

We offer a day of intense healing for broken hearts and bruised spirits. A day spent in the company of others, where you can grieve as part of a community, supporting and being supported. We begin the day by considering the nature of grief and sharing experiences, before creating a physical, ritual space for grief to flow. It is amazing how quickly this ritual space comes together; some ancient and wise part of us knows just what to do.

Once the ritual starts, everyone is invited, through song and dance, tears and their own personal forms of expression, to offer up whatever is weighing them down. This activity has a natural flow and we find our body knows how to grieve. When done communally this process is not so overwhelming.

........I liked that we made the shrines, which made the space ours. The concept of the village and the welcome each participant got on their return was lovely...........Everything about it was presented clearly. There was nothing that I didn’t like about the day…………I was amazed watching strangers physically change into a community through singing, drumming, dancing, doing ritual together. Incredible in such a short space of time..........It was a positive experience and will be long remembered as a highlight of the year..........Had a huge internal shift and increased feeling of supportive connection with some ancestors…..

This ritual draws on the cathartic funeral practices of the Dagara people in Burkina Faso, West Africa. It was crafted by Dr Malidoma Somé of the Dagara tribe as a direct response to the burdens of grief that he saw were crushing those of us living in modernity.

‘Grief takes us to the top of the hill and then lets us walk back down slowly, peacefully. It helps relieve the person who is in sorrow and leads them towards acceptance of the phenomenon of death, separation and love.’ (Malidoma Somé, Dagara Elder).

Note: We share a part of our income from our Grief Rituals to contribute to wellbeing projects in Burkina Faso in gratitude for the gift of this medicine.

OUR RITUAL FACILITATORS:

KATHRYN EDWARDS had a life-changing encounter with Dr Malidoma Somé when she learned – experientially – how ritual creates and sustains community. She studied Dagara wisdom, including the theory and practice of ritual, with Malidoma for two decades in the US and in Europe. Kathryn was frequently invited to visit his village in Burkina Faso, West Africa, and eventually acted as co-tour-manager for Western study groups there.

Kathryn was particularly inspired by the beauty and healing effects of Dagara funerals. Her spontaneous childhood practice had been to bury dead birds in a shoebox with pomp and flowers, so becoming a funeral celebrant for humans was a natural progression. She apprenticed herself to a progressive undertaker, to be better informed about the care of the dead. She went to weep at Malidoma’s own funeral in Burkina Faso in 2022.

Kathryn believes that working with ritual technology will fortify us, as modernity unravels in the face of the climate emergency. kathrynedwards50@gmail.com

JOHN SCAIFE has studied and practised extensively with the Dagara teachers Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé in the UK, and also with Martin Prechtel in the UK and at his ‘Bolad’s Kitchen’ school in New Mexico, having been introduced to them by poet and ‘men’s movement’ leaders, poet Robert Bly and mythologist Michael Meade, in the 1990s. During this time he also learnt from James Hillman and Robert Moore. He is an experienced ritualist (especially rites of passage for men and women, and in grief work), a cowrie-shell diviner and accomplished storyteller.

John grew up in Northumberland. He regularly returns to run his favourite beach and walk the Cheviots. He now lives in Sussex. www.recastpath.life

NEED TO KNOW MORE, STILL UNCERTAIN  and FAQ'S

To read more about grief and grief rituals visit our sister website   www.ritualsforgrief/org   

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE RITUAL please send an email to  Kathryn (kathrynedwards50@gmail.com)  freegull@hotmail.co.uk (John)

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE VENUE OR LOGISTICS please send an email to Rod (rpboothroyd@gmail.com)

FAQ's

Food?

Self catered. So bring your own favourite for lunch. Most of all bring some treats to share.

What to bring?

We will send you a letter once you have paid for your ticket that lists everything you need to bring.

Age Group. This is strictly for adults (18 and over) able and willing to take care of, and personal responsibility for, themselves.

Pets?

Sorry no dogs, goldfish or other beloveds allowed.

Medication?

This event can be strongly stimulating and emotionally demanding. If you need medication to manage your moods, think twice before coming or seek professional advice.  Everyone is responsible for their own physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Timing?

We start at 9.30am and will be locking up at 9pm having closed the ritual, tidied away and cleaned up. Sometimes we finish a little sooner.

How to prepare?

Best of all is just turn up as you are with a genuine curiosity and willingness to join in. There are books and talks by Malidoma you can find online, but these are no substitute for doing the ritual.