Why Do I Lose Myself When I Fall in Love?

Love deeply. Without abandoning yourself.

Friday 23 October 2026 - 6 pm UK 

Live Online - £15

You're a strong, independent woman. Until you fall in love.

In most areas of your life, you know who you are.

You have opinions, ambitions, friendships, interests and a life you've worked hard to create.

But something changes when you become romantically attached.

Suddenly, your needs seem less important.

You find yourself waiting for messages, monitoring someone else's moods or analysing what their behaviour might mean.

You say yes when you mean no.

You become more accommodating, more available, more understanding.

You might even start questioning your own perception of reality because you're so afraid of losing the connection.

And the most frustrating part?

You can see yourself doing it. But somehow, you can't seem to stop.

Why does the possibility of losing someone sometimes feel more frightening than losing yourself?

For many women, self-abandonment isn't a conscious decision. It's an old protective strategy.

Perhaps you learned that love depended on being good, helpful, attractive, easy-going or emotionally available to others.

Perhaps you learned to anticipate someone's needs before expressing your own.

And perhaps your nervous system still associates keeping someone close with keeping yourself safe.

What we'll explore

In this experiential workshop, we'll investigate:

• The roots of self-abandonment. How early attachment experiences can shape the way you behave when love feels uncertain.
• Your protective strategies. People-pleasing, reassurance-seeking, overthinking, controlling or withdrawing.
• The difference between love and losing yourself. When devotion becomes an attempt to secure connection at the expense of your own needs.
• The Light Masculine Archetype. Cultivating presence, consciousness, focused awareness and the ability to witness your experience without being consumed by it.

From understanding to embodied experience

This workshop isn't about becoming less sensitive or less loving.

It's about learning to remain connected to yourself when your heart is involved.

Through guided inquiry, somatic exploration and parts-based practices, we'll explore what happens inside you when you fear rejection or disconnection.

You'll begin identifying your personal early warning signs of self-abandonment and practise returning to a steadier relationship with yourself.

You'll leave with greater awareness of where you lose yourself in love and a practical way to begin coming back to yourself.

All practices are invitations, and personal sharing is optional.

Meet Your Guide — Bibi Gratzer

Sex & Relationship Coach | Tantra Teacher | Seven Years of Professional Experience

I know what it's like to be a capable, self-aware woman and still struggle with deeply ingrained relationship patterns.

My own journey through codependency recovery, heartbreak, complicated relationships and extended periods of celibacy taught me something important:

Understanding a pattern intellectually is not the same as being able to change it when love becomes vulnerable.

Through years of embodied practice, self-study and exploring my relationship with the inner Masculine Archetype, I began developing a different capacity to meet myself and my relationships.

For seven years, I've supported people in transforming their relationships and sexuality, drawing on training in relationship coaching, Tantra, shadow work, archetypal psychology, systemic constellations and somatic approaches.

My work brings together the psychological, relational and embodied dimensions of transformation.

Because I believe we can learn to love wholeheartedly without leaving ourselves behind.

Want to Go Deeper? Discover INITIATE.

This workshop introduces one of the central themes of INITIATE — a six-week embodied initiation for women who are ready to stop attracting the same kind of person.

Beginning 8 November, we'll explore the patterns that shape whom we choose, how we respond to intimacy, where we betray our boundaries and how we can develop greater presence, power and self-devotion.

Through relationship psychology, shadow work, archetypal exploration and embodiment, we'll move from understanding our patterns towards practising new ways of relating.

8 November – 13 December 2026 | Six Sundays at 5 pm UK | Live online

Investment: £300 or 2 payments of £150.

This workshop stands alone. Joining INITIATE is entirely optional.

All women are welcome, including lesbian, bisexual, queer and trans women. No previous embodiment experience is required.

You don't need to become less loving. You need to stop disappearing in the name of love.

BOOK YOUR PLACE — £15